


this chat is a mess

by hoseokie



Category: EXO (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Fluff, Humor, I hope you laugh, M/M, Sexual innuendos, baekhyun and tae, bangtan chat, but they are all in love, chat fic, horny bastards, sexual innuendos everywhere, they all roast themselves, they drink alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-10 01:29:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12288348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoseokie/pseuds/hoseokie
Summary: another bangtan chat in the ao3 community





	this chat is a mess

**Author's Note:**

> Jin: WorldwideHandsome  
> Yoongi: suga  
> Hoseok: hobi  
> Namjoon: RapKing  
> Jimin: jiminie  
> Taehyung: taetae  
> Jungkook: kookie  
> Baekyun: baebae

  **(Group chat: Bangtan Babies)**

 

 

 **RapKing:** okay so which of you spilled beer on my covers???

 

 **jiminie:** tae

 

 **kookie:** was tae

 

 **taetae:** wHAYT THE FJCK

 

 **taetae:** EHY YOU BLAME ME

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** tae if it was you get ready bc you will wash those covers I AM NOT moving a finger

 

 **taetae:** hYUNG IT WAS NOT ME I SWEAR NAMJOON HYUNG

 

 **RapKing:** okay who was it then?

 

 **jiminie:** yoongi hyung and hobi hyung are very quiet

 

 **suga:** fuck off ofc it was not me stfu

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** hobi???

 

 **hobi:** i may have grabbed the bottle upside down while i was sitting on your bed

 

 **hobi:** STILL it was unintentional pls dont kill me

 

 **RapKing:** HOSEOK IM GOINGT O KILL YOU

 

 **hobi:** IM SORRY IT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN

 

 **kookie:** and here i was thinking hyung was more "responsable" with alcohol than the rest of us

 

 **hobi:** I AM it was an accident it wont happen again

 

 **jiminie:** yeah right same with the rambling you had about wanting to give certain boy the succ

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** WHAT

 

 **kookie:** oh man holy shit 

 

 **taetae:** E X P O S E D

 

 **suga:** what

 

 **hobi:** STFU YOU BINCH I WAS OUT OF MY MINDF OKAY¿¿¿¿

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** damn jiminie as much as i want you to spill the tea HOSEOK GO WASH THOSE COVERS NOW

 

 **hobi:** fuck yes. i will. 

 

* * *

  
  **(Group chat: Bangtan Babies)**

 

 **taetae:** so jiminie what was that about hobi wanting to give the succ to a certain someone?

 

 **hobi:** do it park jimin and i will say what you told me about jungkook

 

 **kookie:** uhm what

 

 **hobi:** oh shit

 

 **jiminie:** HYUBG WHAT THE FUCJ

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** *sips tea*

 

 **hobi:** it was nothing bad kookie dont worry 

 

 **taetae:** you have the right to know kookie

 

 **hobi:** TAEHYUBG STFU YOU ARE NOT HELPINF

 

 **suga:** can yall stfu im trying to work over here so we can pay the bills

 

 **RapKing:** yes please 

 

 **suga:** what the fuck are you talking abt namjoon you are literally lying on the floor

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** yeh namjoon shut the fuck up

 

 **RapKing:** #1 @ **suga** bro i trusted you #2 @ **WorldwideHandsome**  babe you are supposed to be on my side

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** dont "babe" me

 

 **RapKing:** you werent complaining yesterday

 

 **taetae:** OH SNAP

 

 **hobi:** LOLOLOLOLOL

 

 **kookie:** so what is it jiminie hyung?

 

 **taetae:** DOUBLE SNAP

 

 **jiminie:** is nothing really jungkookie

 

 **kookie:** tell me

 

 **taetae:** man i want to pee but i wont let the flesh win this battle

 

 **jiminie:** just that you look very cute with your new hairstyle 

 

 **jiminie:**  like a model 

 

 **taetae:** thats it?

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** my two babies aw 

 

 **kookie:** oh well thank you jiminie hyung never thought it looked that good but i will keep it like that if you like it

 

 **hobi:** ooooooooooooooooh

 

 **taetae:** so who do you want to give the succ to hobi hyung?

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** tae can you pls let that down rn cant you see the flirting in this chat

 

 **taetae:** wait ehat

 

 **taetae:** who with who?

 

 **suga:** is this kid fr? 

 

 **taetae:** wAIT is it you yoongi hyung ?!?1?

 

 **suga:** tae are you that blind?

 

 **taetae:** I KNEW IT IT IS YOU JDKAKS

 

 **hobi:** it is not him tae 

 

 **kookie:** but it can be right yoongi hyung 

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** OKAY THIS JUST GETS BETTER AND BETTER 

 

 **suga:** say one word brat

 

 **kookie:** yall yoongi hyung has a very deep crush on someone 

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** WHATSD

 

 **hobi:** what

 

 **taetae:** I KJNEW ITN

 

 **jiminie:** ooooooh who stole hyung's heart???

 

 **suga:** consider yourself dead jeon jungkook 

 

 **RapKing:** you don't even need to guess we all know who is it

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** spill the tea then babe

 

 **suga:** do it namjoon

 

 _**RapKing**   **left**_   ** _the chat_ **

 

 **hobi:** who is it hyung

 

 **suga:** i dont have a crush they are talking nonsense hobi

 

 **kookie:** RIGHT HYUNG

 

**_suga removed kookie from the chat_ **

 

**_jiminie added kookie to the chat_ **

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** yoongi if you dont have a crush then stop overreacting

 

 **jiminie:** PRAISE

 

 **taetae:** HEU WENT THERE MAN

 

 **suga:** did i forgot to mention jin hyung and namjoon where jerking each other off on the couch while we where watching "IT"

 

 **RapKing:**  why me. 

 

 **RapKing:** what did i did to you???

 

 **hobi:** OH MY GOJDOF

 

 **jiminie:** THATS DISGUSTINGF

 

 **taetae:** BITHV I WAS SITTING NEXT TO YUO DONT YOU HAVE DECENCY ????

 

 **kookie:** so those weird noises

 

 **suga:** correct kooks

 

 **suga:** your parents are a pair of depraved fucks

 

* * *

**  
(Group chat: Bangtan Babies)**

 

 

 **taetae:** YO BITCHES

 

 **jiminie:** hi taetae

 

 **kookie:** hey

 

 **suga:** the fuck u want

 

 **hobi:** hello taehyungie

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** cant we have a chat free of swear words?

 

 **RapKing:** you expect that to happen here sweetheart?

 

 **kookie:** yall namjoon hyung got laid yesterday 

 

 **RapKing:** kookie just bc i call him cute pet names doesnt mean i got laid i do that everyday

 

 **jiminie:** we heard you

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** WHAT HOW

 

 **kookie:**  hyung my room is next to yours i hear you everytime

 

 **suga:** now that shit is fucking nasty

 

 **hobi:** and what was jiminie doing in your room anyways hm?????

 

 **kookie:** things?

 

 **suga:** you were watching porn right? i heard moans coming from your room

 

 **tae:** chimchim didnt you told me you were sucking dick yesterday? why where you in kookies... oh

 

 **jiminie:** TAE WHAT THE FUCJ NO

 

 **WorlwideHandosome:** NO YOU ARE BABIES YUO SHOULDNT BE DOING THAT

 

 **hobi:** the maknae line is far from innocent hyung

 

 **taetae:** ANYWAYS BACK TO WHAT I WANTED TO SAY

 

 **taetae:** I MET THE FATHER OF MY KIDS

 

 **taetae:** HES LIKE THE CUTES T AND HOTTEST HUMAN TO WALK ON THE E ARTH

 

 **taetae:** I COULDNT HANDLE IT ALSO I MANAGED TO TAKE A PIC OF HIM

 

**taetae:**

[ ](http://www.google.hn/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwignsrCqN_WAhUD5yYKHRvYCqMQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fweheartit.com%2Fentry%2F84186844&psig=AOvVaw1eHGRO2dXt9G0y1ZnNOZcT&ust=1507493168801211)

 

 **suga:** you mean the other kid of your father because you look fucking equal

 

 **taetae:** i will take that as a compliment

 

 **suga:** wasnt one 

 

 **RapKing:** tae you are a fucking creep

 

 **taetae:** SHUSH I HAD TO DO IT

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** i approve he's cute

 

 **hobi:** aw he looks cute 

 

 **taetate:** back off. he mine.

 

 **jiminie:** did you talked to him?

 

 **taetae:** ...

 

 **kookie:** he didnt

 

 **taetae:** I COULDNT OKAY HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THTA

 

 **RapKing:** um with your mouth?

 

 **taetae:** ill have you know that he is the one who has to chase ME not the other way around

 

 **suga:** what even

 

 **taetae:** but i will be attenting to the same spot in the mall just to keep you updated

 

* * *

**  
(Group chat: Bangatan Babies)**

 

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** KIM TAEHYUNG

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** you better stop eating the cookies i well hided in the top shelf of the kitchen i know you stole them

 

 **taetae:** WHAYT

 

 **taetae:** WHY YALL ASSUME ITS M E

 

 **taetae:** I DIDNT EVEN KNEW WE HAD COOKIES

 

 **taetae:** except for the only 'kookie' i know and that i would gladly eat

 

 **kookie:** hyunnng that's embarrassing 

 

 **taetae:** is da tru

 

 **jiminie:** yeah taetae be respectful

 

 **hobi:** someone is jelly belly

 

 **kookie** **:** haha dont worry jiminie hyung taehyungie hyung is like that

 

 **hobi:** he's jealous kooks

 

 **jiminie:** I AM NOT

 

 **suga:** he is

 

 **jiminie:** NOT

 

 **hobi:** wow he is even using caps

 

 **kookie:** dont be jealous jiminie hyung are you in your room?

 

 **RapKing:** now that scalated really fast

 

 **jiminie:** yes kookie

 

 **kookie:** up in the mood for cuddles?

 

 **hobi:** AWW how can he say no???????????

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** this is so fucking cute but i NEED to know who stole the cookies !1!

 

 **kookie:** not me hyung

 

 **jiminie:** me neither 

 

 **kookie:** jiminie hyung can't reach the top shelf

 

 **hobi:** LMFAOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **taetae:** HJDSHUAJKDASHDJHDFH

 

 **RapKing:** HSHSHAHSHSHAH

 

_**jiminie left the chat** _

 

_**kookie added jiminie** _

 

 **jiminie:** you don't talk to me 

 

 **hobi:** ah those little fights in marriage 

 

 **kookie:** hyung i was just playing you know

 

 **jiminie:** well then i wasn't 

 

 **kookie:** cmon i have already told you your height is cute

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** THIS IS CUTE AFFFF

 

 **jiminie:** im still mad

 

 **kookie:** nothing that cuddles can't solve????

 

 **jiminie:** i hate you 

 

 **kookie:** no you don't :)

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** so Namjoon...?

 

* * *

   
**(Private chat: RapDisaster & AgustD)**

 

 

 **RapDisaster:** HYUNG

 

 **RapDisaster:** Jin hyung is threatening me

 

 **RapDisaster:** if i dont answer this will be my last day in earth

 

 **RapDisaster:** i cant cover you this time bro

 

 **AgustD:** dont you ever "bro" me again you dillweed

 

 **AgustD:** traitor

 

 **RapDisaster:**  please forgive me

 

 **AgustD:** dont throw that bryan adams shit at me is not gonna work

 

 **AgustD:** im blocking you

* * *

   
**(Group chat: Bangtan Babies)**

 

 

 **RapKing:** it was yoongi hyung love

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** YOONGI???????

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** but he has jiminie's height??????? hows that possible

 

 **suga:** STFU

 

 **RapKing:** i passed him the cookies bc he couldnt reach

 

 **suga:** AT LEAST you would have lied abt that part of the story

 

 **hobi:** aw but thats so cute suga hyung on his tippy toes

 

 **suga:** yeah? i do that all the time :)

 

 **jiminie:** no shame lmao

 

 **taetae:** H

 

 **taetae:** O

 

 **taetae:** E

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** you are so dead namjoon

 

 **RapKing:** this is what i get for being a good friend

 

* * *

  
  ** _Jung Hoseok created chat (King and his disciples)_**

 

**_RapHoe was added_ **

**_B was added_ **

**_JinJin was added_ **

**_Yoongiii was added_ **

 

 **King:** gUYS

 

 **B:** what kind of shitty name is dis

 

 **RapHoe:** if this chat gets filled with you talking abt your figurines like you did with the rappers chat im leaving hoseok

 

 **King:** you disrespectful brat no its not

 

 **B:** better be worth this walk of shame my name is doing hyung

 

 **Yoongiii:** hi hobi

 

 **King:** hi hyung :)))

 

 **JinJin:** so whats what you want to tell us bby

 

 **Yoongiii:** why you ?? um

 

 **JinJin:** im not stealing him from u yoongi hes just my baby

 

 **King:** idgi

 

 **RapHoe:** this is what i deal with in the rappers chat

 

 **B:** igdi as well

 

 **JinJin:** when do you ever???

 

 **B:** #OFFENDED

 

 **King:** ANYWAYS

 

 **King:** imma drop the biggest bomb ever

 

 **King:** if u r standing better take a sit

 

 **King:**  
[ ](http://www.google.hn/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwiloMPEmOLWAhWG6yYKHYtvCTsQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Faminoapps.com%2Fweb%2Fx16%2Fblog%2F20c34839-9c4d-4dbd-967c-c64943b0b0b2&psig=AOvVaw29s91gkYqcJPhEPIZwkFB_&ust=1507591595903422)

 

 **B:** HOLY SHIGT OH MY LEMON

 

 **B:** JUNKOOK AND JHIMN HYING OH  MY AHSI

 

 **B:** MY ASS IS SHOOK

 

 **JinJin:** ARE THOSE ??????????

 

 **JinJin:** LOOK AT KOOKIES HANDRSDN

 

 **JinJin:** JIMINIE EVEN LEANS UNTO KOOKID

 

 **JinJin:** MY TWO BABIE S

 

 **JinJin:** I CABT HOLD IT

 

 **King:** ITS GLORIOUS I KNOW

 

 **RapHoe:** Oh mY GOD JIN HYUNG UFKC

 

 **JinJin:** Namjoon is choking HSAHDSKAJSHAJS

 

 **Yoongiii:** yeh but bc you push him while he was drinking water

 

 **RapHoe:** BABE control your feelings pls

 

 **King:** WHEN I SAW THE VIDEO I HITTED MY TV BY ACCIDENT AND IT FELL DOWN 

 

 **RapHoe:** i knew they were touchy but never thought

 

 **RapHoe:** hoseok wtf

 

 **RapHoe:** Jin hyung you make it your background????

 

 **JinJin:** LET ME LIVE

 

 **Yoongiii:** i expected it

 

 **Yoongiii:** they both have the hots for each other

 

 **JinJin:** WE HAVE TO TEASE THEM

 

 **B:** im in THIS SHIP HAS TO SAIL

 

 **King:** they have to confess

 

 **King:** sadly i couldnt get more videos or pics but imma keep my eyes on them

 

 **RapHoe:** how the fuck you got that video if you were literally standing in front of them

 

 **King:** i have eyes everywhere namjoon

 

 **B:** teach me hyung please

 

 **RapHoe:** you are creepy as fuck

 

 **JinJin:** THIS IS WHAT THEY DO WHEN THE THINK NOBODY IS WATCHING THEM

 

 **B:** i want to know what they do when they are alone

 

 **Yoongiii:** tae thats fucking disgusting

 

 **B:** what

 

 **B:** i have the hots for all of you

 

 _ **RapHoe left**_  
  
_**Yoongiii left**_  
  
_**King left**_  
  
_**JinJin left**_

* * *

  
  **(Group chat: Bangtan Babies)**

 

 

 **taetae:** so kooks you enjoy touching jiminie hyungs waist?

 

 **RapKing:** cant you be a little subtle?

 

 **jiminie:** what are you talking about?

 

 **taetae:** i bet you enjoy it

 

 **kookie:** he has a tiny waist and my hands are big

 

 **kookie:** so yes

 

 **WorldwideHandosme:** OIDJFVIHADIFVH

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** IM GOIIN TO LOSE IT

 

 **hobi:** WHAT FTHE ACTUAL

 

 **hobi:** MY EUES ARE READING EROTICA

 

 **taetae:** OH MY SHIGT

 

 **taetae:** JIKOOK OUT HERE BEING WILD

 

 **taetae:** JIKOOK IS SAVAGE BIUTVH

 

 **taetae:** but

 

 **taetae:** that power of mine that can make people confess easily wow

 

 **kookie:** idk why are you so surprised

 

 **kookie:** specially you hobi hyung

 

 **kookie:** yoongi hyung grabs your waist whenever he has a chance

 

 **hobi:** the

 

 **suga:** hobi is clumsy so i have to steady him you brat 

 

 **taetae:** thats namjoon hyung

 

 **suga:** tae shut the fuck up

 

 **jiminie:** oh and when he rests on your chest hes being clumsy too

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** EHAT

 

 **taetae:**  
[ ](https://www.google.hn/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwijxaXjqeLWAhUHKVAKHSoDCO0QjRwIBw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.de%2Fexplore%2Fshocked-face-meme%2F&psig=AOvVaw0gEuyCq56gkQLf9WPDVT3_&ust=1507596763132992)

 

 **RapKing:**  
  
 

 

 **suga:** im dissing you both in cypher V

 

 **suga:** you both are so fucking dead **  
**

 

 **hobi:** suga hyung and i are like brothers so its normal for us to do that just to clear that up i do that with all of you

 

 **taetae:** true hobi hyung and i sleep together and cuddle

 

 **suga:** what

 

 **jiminie:** yeah taetae but what they have is different

 

 **taetae:** if you mean they get sexual i tried once 

 

 **suga:** what

 

 **WorlwideHandsome:** WHAT THE HELL HOSEOK AND TAEHYUNG

 

 **kookie:**  
[ ](http://www.google.hn/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjMgKXCueLWAhXRaFAKHZwWCwQQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.natashaspierogi.com%2Fproduct%2Ftea-cat%2F&psig=AOvVaw1YcEQnuCJWIUM9xgvkYdNE&ust=1507600986002185)

 

 **RapKing:** imagine if this convo gets leaked

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** SHUSH NAMJOON DONT INTERRUPT

**taetae:** but i wasdrunk 

 

 **hobi:** I CAN ASSURE YOU

 

 **hobi:** NOTHING HAPPENED

 

 **hobi:** 1 BC WTF NO 2 YOU WERE DRUNK

 

 **taetae:** YOU WISH SOMETHING HAD HAPPENED 

 

 **jiminie:** so nothing happened taetae????

 

 **taetae:** not that i remember 

 

 **hobi:** NOTHINBG

 

 **suga:** really jung hoseok?

 

 **jiminie:** jell jell jell

 

 **kookie:** oh shit

 

 **RapKing:** the use of the complete name man

 

 **taetae:** *IS ON FIRE*

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** *sips tea with exaggeration*

 

 **hobi:** yes hyung 

 

 **suga:** im waiting for you in the studio

 

 **hobi:** coming

 

_**suga left** _

_**hobi left** _

 

 **taetae:** did yall see that

 

 **taetae:** he made hobi hyung came just by replying

 

 **taetae:**  not even with his tongue technology 

 

 **taetae:** shit i really need to learn from my hyungs

* * *

   
**(Group chat: Bangtan Babies)**

 

 

 **suga:** angel you left your wallet on my nightstand

 

 **suga:** you want me to

 

 **suga:** wait

 

 **suga:** shit wrong chat

 

 **taetae:** NOT SO FAST HYUNBG

 

 **jiminie:** THIS IS GOLD

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** YOONGI CALLING SOMEONE CUET NICKNAMES

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** MY OLDEST BABY ARE YOU IN LOVE?

 

 **jiminie:** hes lovesick

 

 **jiminie:** never thought hyung was the lovey dovey type

 

 **RapKing:** HAHSHAHSHASH YOONGI HYUNG

 

 **suga:** im leaving this boy band

 

 **suga:** im becoming solo

 

 **kookie:** so who's your precious angel yoongi hyung?

 

 **hobi:** good morning sunshinessss!!!!!

 

 **hobi:** how are you??????

 

 **taetae:** the effect of getting good dick the night before

 

 **kookie:** what he did to you hyung that made you fell head over heels for him?

 

 **hobi:** what you

 

 **hobi:** oh

 

 **hobi:** most of us call each other by cute pet names idk why you all act like that

 

 **taetae:** you call me trash

 

 **taetae:** thats far from cute

 

 **kookie:** why are you assuming he was talking about you?

 

 **taetae:** SHIT THIS KID IS SAVAGE

 

 **jiminie:** or is it that you did spend the night with suga hyung and forgot your wallet in his room

 

 **RapKing:** shit kids these days are scary af

 

 **suga:** OKAY YES

 

 **suga:** hobi and i are

 

 **taetae:** fucking?

 

 **hobi:** are very close

 

 **suga:** correct

 

 **hobi:** i spend the night in his bc we were working on some lyrics. thats it.

 

 **taetae:** you are no fun

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** i just want to congratulate kookie and jiminie for being savage i have taught you so well my dears

 

 **jiminie:** thxxx

 

 **kookie:** learned from the best

 

* * *

**  
(Group chat: Bangtan Babies)**

 

 

 ** **taetae:**** SUP HOES

 

 ** **taetae:**** itS ME AGAIN

 

 **suga:** oh fuck no

 

 **WorlwideHandsome:** please stop swearing

 

 **jiminie:** hey tae

 

 **kookie:** hi hyung !

 

 **RapKing:** sup my son

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** now if namjoon acknowledging the kids as his sons isnt the cutest thing ever then i dont know what is

 

 **WorlwideHandsome:**  he is an amazing father

 

 **suga:** you call that putrid banana an amazing father?

 

 **RapKing:** you have been grounded for like 8 months and with that you just added up 2 more

 

 **taetae:** I TALKED TO CUTIE

 

 **taetae:** ANF I DISCOVERED THAT HE IS THE CUTEST THING IN THIS W ORLD

 

 **taetae:** AND I WANT TO SUCK HIS DICK AS WELL

 

 **taetae:** SHIT

 

 **taetae:** I WANT TO MARRY HIM SO BAD

 

 **kookie:** wow

 

 **jiminie:** congrats tae!!!

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** get him tiger!!!

 

 **taetae:** his name is Baekhyun

 

 **taetae:** AINT THAT THE CUTTEST NAME IN THE WORLD ¿¿¿¿¿¿

 

 **RapKing:** so what did you talked about?

 

 **taetae:** i was trying some very nice shoes

 

 **taetae:** and i thought he was the mirror for a second

 

 **taetae:** BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING THE SAME SHOES AS WELL

 

 **taetae:** #COUPLEGOALS

 

 **suga:** the fact that you thought he was a mirror bc you are like fucking twins isnt a bit weird?

 

 **taetae:** why would it be?

 

 **suga:** bc its like if you are dating your brother or yourself

 

 **taetae:** WAY BETTER THEN

 

 **RapKing:** and what did he said?

 

 **taetae:** that the shoes looked really nice but what was he looking at was ME

 

 **taetae:** SO WHOS THE REAL WINNER HERE

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** what else?

 

 **taetae:** he noticed i wasnt a mirror HE SAID HI TO ME AND SMILE D

 

 **taetae:** TAEHYUNG HAD AN INTERNAL BREAK DOWN IN THAT SECOND

 

 **taetae:** HE APPROACHE D ME AND ASKED FOR MY NAME JUST LIKE IN FANFICS BIH

 

 **kookie:** pls tell me you didnt lie about your name this time

 

 **taetae:** I DIDNT OKAY

 

 **taetae:** I EVEN STALKED HIS INSTAGRAM

 

 **taetae:**  


 

 **taetae:** THATS SOME HOT SHIT RIGHT THERE BITHC

 

 **suga:** yo guys im actually worried that they look the same

 

 **hobi:** oh hes cute tae! a buffet you got yourself

 

 **taetae:** RIGHT! im so lucky hyung

 

 **suga:** what a time to appear hobi

 

 **hobi:** i had to comment on the kids looks :)

 

 **jiminie:** the tension

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** blatant

 

 **taetae:** i have to thank hobi hyung for his lessons

 

 **taetae:** HE IS A CASANOVA

 

 **taetae:** PURE TALENT IS WHAT WE GOT HERE IN BANGTAN

 

* * *

**  
(Private chat: fan & idol)**

 

 

 ** **idol:**** jungkook help me out

 

 ** **idol:**** you brat pay attention to me

 

 ** **fan:**** i knew you were gonna need my help someday

 

 **idol:** BE QUIET

 

 ** **fan:**** tell me hyung

 

 ** **idol:**** hoseok is being a little shityou know what hes doing

 

 **fan:** i gotchu sis

 

 **idol:** im not blocking you just bc you are helping me out

* * *

 

  **(Group chat: Bangtan Babies)**

 

 

 **hobi:** you are exaggerating

 

 **taetae:** I AM NOT HE GOT 2 CONQUESTS IN LESS THAN 40 MINUTES

 

 **hobi:** well

 

 **kookie:** the hyungs are all gifted they have good tricks

 

 **hobi:** aww

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** aw baby

 

 **RapKing:** aw son

 

 **kookie:** but my favorite one is yoongi huyngs

 

 **hobi:** and whats that?

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** jiminie bring the popcorn

 

 **jiminie:** on my way hyung xx

 

 **kookie:** what he can do with his tongue is mind blowing

 

**jiminie:**

 

 **RapKing:**  
[ ](http://www.google.hn/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjkzNDpl-XWAhWM7CYKHeeCDogQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionlocal.org%2F2009%2F01%2Fa-tall-cool-drink-of-marga-gomez%2F&psig=AOvVaw02tx8wXyW0dicxKMDc1mnQ&ust=1507695031375973)

 

 **RapKing:** SHITSHITSHITSHIT

 

 **taetae:** uHM WHTUS

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** WHAT THE FYCUJ

 

 **taetae:** uhm jiminie you forgot to type there

 

 **jiminie:** IS BC IM SPEECHLESS

 

 **hobi:** you really like to play dirty right yoongi hyung?

 

 **suga:** no suga hyung? :)

 

 **hobi:** no. no suga hyung.

 

 **suga:** i do like playing dirty hoseokie

 

 **hobi:** mind getting dirty with me then?

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** NO SEXITNG IN THE CHAT NO NO NO

 

 **RapKing:** OH MY FJUCING SHITG

 

 **taetae:** SOPE OUT HERE GETTING DIRTY MANDC

 

 **jiminie:** WHEN WILL YOUR SHIP EVER

 

 **taetae:** SHIT I WANT TO SEE THEM FUCK

 

 **RapKing:** you really are something else kid

 

 **taetae:** THEY ARE BOTH HOT SO

 

 **kookie:** :)

* * *

 

**(Private chat: idol & fan)**

 

 **fan:** you owe me

 

 **idol:** ofc i know

 

 **idol:** thanks by the way you da best

 

 **fan:** oh i know :)

 

 **idol:** brat

* * *

 

**(Group chat: Bangtan Babies)**

 

 **hobi:** gUYS WHAT EVEN

 

 **hobi:** DID YALL SAW THIS

 

 **hobi:**  
  


 

 **hobi:** BOI IM NO PSYCHIC BUT I CAN TELL HE ENJOYING IT

 

 **kookie:** uhm

 

 **jiminie:** what the hell

 

 **RapKing:** hobi you do know

 

 **WorlwideHandsome:** YOU IDIOT THIS IS THDE BANGTAN CHAT

 

 **suga:** ah my dear hobi

 

 **taetae:** OH MY GOD YES HOBI HYUNG WE ALL SAW IT I CHOKED ON MY WATER

 

 **taetae:** I GOT MY OUTFIT WET AND GOT SCOLDED REMEMBER

 

 **taetae:** WE NEED THEM TO CONFESS THEY FUCJK

 

 **jiminie:** so yall talk behind our backs

 

 **taetae:** WHAT NO NEVER

 

 **taetae:** wait

 

 **taetae:** what chat is this

 

 **hobi:** pretend you dont know me

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** i really want to kill you rn

 

 **hobi:** do it

 

 **hobi:** i dont blame you

 

 **jiminie:** i think its time for them to know kookie

 

 **kookie:** okay so jiminie hyung and i are dating

 

 **kookie:** i bothered him a lot bc i liked him

 

 **kookie:** i loved it when he got all flustered

 

 **jiminie:** and i liked when i had kookies attention

 

 **kookie:** as the most mature kids here we talked it out and decided to go out

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH FOR MY POOR HEART

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** I WANY CTIO GET HADNFR

 

 **RapKing:** OHMV NOCHU AND CHIMCHIM

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** MY TWO BABI ES

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** I WONDETR WHEN YOU GO OUT FOR YOU CUTE LITTLE DATES

 

 **hobi:** JIMINIES EYES WHEN KOOKIE MAKES HIM LAUGH OMG I WANT TO

 

 **hobi:** I AM LITERALLY SHITTING RAINBOWS

 

 **suga:** fuck you both are cute

 

 **suga:** not as much as hobi and i ofc

 

 **taetae:** W H A T

 

 **taetae:** YOU BITCHE IM YOUR BEST FRIEND AND NONE OF YOU COULD TELL ME

 

 **taetae:** #OFFENDED #IDONTKNOWYOU

 

 **taetae:** BU T OMG IMAGONE HOW HOT KOOKIE AND CHIMCHIM LOOK WHILE FUCKING

 

 **taetae:** I NUTTED

 

 **jiminie:** oh right tae i forgot something

 

**_jiminie added baebae_ **

 

 **baebae:** uhm hello?

 

 **jiminie:** hyung hello welcome to the bangtan chat

 

 **hobi:** hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! im hobi

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** hello bbyyyy im the mom of these kids

 

 **baebae:** hiii!

 

 **RapKing:** Hey man! im the dad here

 

 **suga:** i dont know any of them

 

 **hobi:** not even me :(((((((

 

 **suga:** i know more than i should from you :)

 

 **taetae:** hi im tae!

 

 **taetae:** we are all gay here

 

 **baebae:** oh thats good to know

 

 **hobi:** oh but we want to see you!!!

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** yesss we want to know what you look like

 

 **baebae:** oh right! just give me a sec

 

 **taetae:** i can give you all the secs you want

 

 **taetae:** if ya know what i mean ;)

 

 **baebae:** wow

 

 **taetae:** BUT MYSELF JUST GOT INTO A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP

 

 **taetae:** GUYS NOW THAT WE ARE ALL HERE

 

 **taetae:** MY CRUSH AND I SAW EACH OTHER AGAIN

 

 **jiminie:** tae just before you start

 

 **taetae:** DNOT INTERRUPT M E

 

 **taetae:** HEU IS LIKE THE CUTEST THIGN IN THIS UNIVERSE

 

 **taetae:** WE WENT TO A CAFE AND HAD A CUTE LITTLE DATE

 

 **taetae:** i really wanted to suck his dick under the table i have no shame

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** IM A PROUD MOM

 

 **baebae:** oh wow he must be really cute

 

 **jiminie:** tae just lemme

 

 **taetae:** HE IS SO FUCKING CUTE AND FIT AND I BUST A NUT EVERY TIME I SEE HIS PICS

 

 **taetae:** hes giving me blue balls

 

 **taetae:** MAN i hope we fuck next time

 

 **taetae:** WE EVEN TOOK A SELFIE TODAY I WANT TO CRI

 

 **RapKing:** let us see it!!

 

 **hobi:** yeeeees taehyungie

 

 **jiminie:** NO TAEHYUNG

 

 **taetae:**  
[](http://www.google.hn/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwiq4d32hOfWAhUCTSYKHaEZBegQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kpopstarz.com%2Farticles%2F146625%2F20141205%2Fexo-baekhyun-bts-v-are-identical-in-selfie-baekhyun-and-taehyung-trends-worldwide.htm&psig=AOvVaw2OG0Qoz5SCSXWDCB8XSzKX&ust=1507758674099779)

 

 **taetae:** ARENT WE THE CUTEST

 

 **baebae:** hi this is me!!!  


 

 ** **jiminie:**** TAE NO

 

 **kookie:**  
[](https://www.google.hn/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwi5yYPriefWAhWGYyYKHd8HAIgQjRwIBw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.electronicproducts.com%2FIndustrial%2FBusiness%2FTop_5_celebrity_tech_fails.aspx&psig=AOvVaw3ITguiyQHfV9v05EnLH7YI&ust=1507759662534564)

 

 **suga:** SHIT

 

 **suga:** you sure he isnt your twin or some shit like that?

 

 **baebae:** wait

 

 **baebae:** THATS ME

 

 **baebae:** YOU ARE TAEHYUNG??????

 

 **taetae:** W H A T

 

 **suga:** LMFAOOOOOO

 

 **RapKing:** this is a mess

 

 **hobi:** O M G

 

 **WorldwideHandsome:** O H MY FUCK

 

 **suga:** tae i found your twin

 

 **kookie:** HASHHASHHAHAHAHA

 

 **kookie:** this is what you get for talking behind jiminie hyungs back and mine :)

 

 **taetae:** HOW COUYLD YOU

 

 **jiminie:** taehyungie i already knew baekhyun hyung or your "cute guy from mall"

 

 **jiminie:** BUT you never listen to me

 

 **taetae:** baekhyun hyung im SO SORRY AND EMBARRASED I SWEAR TO YOU

 

 **taetae:** I WAS BEING POSSESED BY SOMETHIGN ELSE WHEN I WROTE ALL OF THAT

 

 **taetae:** i dont want to suck your dick

 

 **taetae:** ... yet

 

 **taetae:** thats not the real me i swear

 

 **baebae:** really? thats a shame

 

 **baebae:** because i like blunt guys

 

 **taetae** : OH MD GOF

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work i am so sorry for all the mistakes i did!  
> comment your favorite ship! i will try to write more stuff with different ships!  
> i hope you all had an amazing day :)


End file.
